Do you feel like you aren’t rocking this whole being a stay-at-home mom gig? When every day feels chaotic and stressful, you start to wonder how to be a successful stay-at-home mom with her sanity.
Deciding to be a stay-at-home mom is a big deal, but it doesn’t always look like what we imagined. You might have the Pinterest-perfect mom stuck in your head, but social media isn’t reality.
That brings up the question – what does it mean to be a successful SAHM? What does that look like for you?
You have to decide for yourself what this means. For some, it means surviving with their sanity intact and only a few gray hairs. For others, it means thriving and thoroughly enjoying this vocation.
If you’re wondering what you can do to become a successful and happy stay-at-home mom, here are some tips.
10 Ways To Be A Successful Stay At Home Mom
Before you start on these steps, make sure you consider what success looks like to you. It’s different for everyone.
Success isn’t measured by a clean house or cabinets full of organic foods. It’s subjective and different for every person, so take time to think and consider what you want it to look like for you.
Then, it’s time to get started.
1. Set Goals
Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t mean that you can’t have goals; you NEED goals. That’s not negotiable. Setting goals is part of growing as an individual, a couple, and a family.
Start by setting personal goals. For example, you might want to read two books per month, or your goal might be to lose 5 pounds in March. The plans you set are personal, and once you meet your goals, set new ones. They help give purpose.
Set goals for your relationship with your partner. It’s easy to become distant when you have a family and busy lives. A simple goal is to go out to dinner once per month and have two at-home date nights. A successful relationship requires you to invest time into it.
Family goals revolve around everyone. If your child is nearing the age of reading, a family goal might be to help your child read his first book or to read a set amount of books per month. Another goal could be to save a determined amount of money to go on a vacation everyone wants.
Make sure to post family goals where everyone sees them.
2. Wake Up Before Your Kids
Many moms say that waking up before their kids is a key to being a successful stay-at-home mom, and they’re correct. Waking up before your kids sets the tone for the entire day.
Instead of waking up to the sound of screaming kids with a poopy diaper in their crib, you start the day in silence with your cup of coffee or tea. That makes a huge difference in your mood throughout the day. You want to be happy when your kids wake up in the morning, not a grumpy bear.
Start by creating a morning routine that works for you and waking up at least one hour before your kids. Some tasks that you might include in your routine each morning include:
- Make coffee or tea
- Empty the dishwasher
- Start laundry
- Feed any animals
- Look at your planner
- Start breakfast
- Pack lunches for school-aged kids
3. Get Dressed
Another simple task that makes a big difference in your mood is getting dressed. You don’t need to dress like you’re going into the office every day, but getting out of your pajamas makes a difference. It also makes slipping back into your pajamas more enjoyable each night.
Each week, set out clothes that you want to wear throughout the week. If you prefer to live in leggings, that’s okay! Have a few pairs of leggings that you wear when you get “dressed” and grab some comfortable, like company-appropriate, tops to go with them.
Being successful as a stay-at-home mom is often a mind-game, and positive thinking and actions lead to significant results.
4. Get Out Of The House!
Whenever the pandemic hit and people started to stay home for days at a time, we saw depression rates skyrocket. Humans aren’t meant to stay inside all day, every day.
Get out of the house each week. Take your kids on walks, hikes, or biking. Visit family members or friends, head to the park, participate in groups at the library, check out nearby museums, and whatever else you think is enjoyable for your family.
Leaving your house makes you feel good, and it helps reduce stay-at-home mom depression.
Make sure you include one or two days per week on your schedule that you leave and do something with your kids, even if it means packing up lunches and checking out a new park each week.
5. Follow Your Schedule
Learning how to schedule your day as a stay-at-home mom is inevitable.
Everyone operates better on a schedule, even you. I know that getting on a plan is awkward at first, and it takes several weeks to become a habit, but the benefits are worth it.
Not only will you feel like you have time to breathe because you know all of your important tasks are completed, but your family will feel more relaxed. Kids get a better sleep when they have a consistent schedule, and so will you.
That’s right; you need a sleep schedule as much as your kids.
Stay-at-home moms often complain that they feel like they can’t get everything done or struggle to survive in the chaos of being a SAHM. You don’t have to feel that way. Print out your written cleaning schedule, stick it to the refrigerator, and follow it – no matter what. I made a stay-at-home mom cleaning schedule to share with you all.
6. Make Sure You Exercise
Exercise is vital, and it needs to be part of your daily stay-at-home mom routine. Make it part of your regular life, and it becomes easier.
I used to dread exercising. It wasn’t something I enjoyed; sweating still isn’t my favorite pastime.
However, I knew that working out decreases anxiety and depression, putting you in a better mood.
We all need that, right?
So, I created a stay-at-home mom workout schedule, and it made a huge difference.
Not only did I lose a few much-needed pounds after my last baby, but I also found that I had more energy overall. I slept better, and I felt overall better than before.
It’s worth it!
7. Take Care Of Yourself
Successful stay-at-home moms understand that self-care is an essential part of motherhood. The tricky thing is that self-care looks different for all moms.
A few examples of self-care activities for mom include:
- Getting a massage
- Pedicures and manicures
- Reading a book
- Sitting in the sun
- Talking to friends
Chances are one or two sound nice, but they might not all be something you want to do. That’s why you need to make a list of self-care activities that you enjoy and do a few each week.
Yes – every week.
Mama, we cannot pour from an empty cup. Fill up your job, and you can give more to your family.
8. Create A Space That You Love
When you’re a stay-at-home mom, you spend a lot of time at home, so it needs to be a space that you love.
That doesn’t mean you need to become the next Johanna Gaines or make your living room like HGTV exploded.
It means finding your style and making spaces you love.
This might look like making your bedroom the ultimate retreat with soft blankets, comfortable pillows, and lamps for reading.
It could be creating a living room that’s inviting and comfortable for guests and you. Add cute pillows to your couch, decorate the walls, and make it feel homey.
Be creative, take your time, set a budget, and make home somewhere you love.
9. Consider A Side Hustle
Many stay at home moms like to work a side hustle to bring in extra cash while at home. Even if your finances are in good order, bringing in extra money – especially if it’s something you love – feels good.
I turned my side hustle into a business from home!
- Side hustles might be things like
- Selling crafts on Etsy
- Starting a blog
- Freelance writing
- Dog walking
The options are endless, and making money at home feels good. It brings a different type of satisfaction into your life.
10. Make Time For Your Relationship
Having a relationship while being a parent is tough. It feels like you never have time to be alone together, and the kids always need you.
However, you’re a couple for a reason, and it’s valuable to remember why. Take time to date your spouse!
Go on dates, have dates at home, communicate together, and stay connected. Not only does it make your family life better, but you’ll be happier knowing that your relationship is secure.
Finding Joy In Being A Stay-At-Home Mom
Being a stay-at-home mom is no joke. You work 247 – literally – and it’s a mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing job.
Yes, being a stay-at-home mom is a job, no matter what anyone might say to you, and sometimes, it’s easy to lose our joy. You want to be a joyful, happy SAHM, but being home all of the time with your kids seems to drain out your energy.
Part of being a successful stay-at-home mom is remembering why you stay home with your kids in the first place and embracing all that it involves.
If you feel like you no longer enjoy being home with your kids, here are some suggestions.
1. Ask For Help
It’s not shameful to ask for help. Tell your partner that you’re struggling, or let your best friend know. If you need a time-out, give a family member a call or a trusted neighbor and ask if they can watch your kids for an hour.
If you’re struggling with depression problems, seek help with a therapist. There is no shame in seeking help with your mental health; when you’re happy and healthy, everyone else in your family benefits as well.
2. Take Time To Rediscover Yourself
A significant problem that mothers face when they become SAHMs is that they forget who they are. They dive into motherhood head first, debating cloth vs. disposable diapers, reading everything parenting blog possible, and exhausting themselves.
While it’s normal, moms shouldn’t lose themselves to motherhood. You were a person before you become a mother, and that woman is still inside of you.
It’s time to find her again.
Take time to do things that you love. Talk to your friends and go out together. Work on your hobbies, read books, and do things that make you feel like you are more than a mother – because you are!
3. Embrace Time With Your Kids
Make sure you take time each day to be with your kids and enjoy them. Part of the joy of being a stay-at-home mom is that you get to experience all of the little moments with them.
It’s a cliche, but time moves fast, and before you know it, they’ll be older. Embracing the time that you have with your kids sometimes takes thoughtfulness and effort. It’s easy to focus on all of the tasks that need to be done.
Take time each day and sit with your kids. Cuddle them, read books, take them for a walk, and love them. Not only does this help remind you while you do what you do, but it makes you feel happy, as well as your kids.
4. Find A Hobby
Having a hobby gives you something to do besides focusing on your kids. Remember, you’re a person with interests, not just kids.
If you don’t have any hobbies, that’s okay! There are so many fantastic hobbies for stay-at-home moms to try. Pick one or two that you think are interesting and get started.
Here are a few hobbies that you might try.
- Making stationary
5. Journal Often
Journaling is a fantastic way to release your worries and frustrations, as well as a way to express gratitude and work through emotional turmoil. It’s a place to jot down what you think without fear of being judged for what you think.
Pick up a journal and start writing what you feel. You might find that it helps you work through why you feel specific ways and find new thought processes.
You Can Be Successful
The definition of success is different for everyone, so make sure you figure out how you define being a successful stay-at-home mom. Once you determine what that looks like for you, create an actionable plan to get there.